How to Attain Your Dreams Without Losing Your Relationship
When I decided to pursue my goal of becoming a full-time published author I knew that I would need the financial, emotional and spiritual support of my fiancé and children. During this time I had given up a successful and profitable Insurance business that I formed in the Fall of 2008. Doing so took all there was within me to muster the courage to walk away from what was comfortable for us all, in order to have a lifestyle that would supersede any of our expectations. Although all the odds seemed against me, and everything in my life (personally and professionally) suggested that the timing wasn’t right… everything in my soul screamed that the timing could not be better. After much debate within myself, I decided to draft a plan that would be achievable for me and my family. Having formed two successful businesses in the past I knew that I would have to draft a plan that would make sense personally and professionally.
The plan would include 3 parts: 1) How would I support myself and any expenses associated with pursuing my dream? 2) How will I divide my time between pursuing my dream and spending time with my family? 3) And how would I get my fiancé and family to approve of this plan also?
The #1 challenge of those seeking to pursue a dream/goal is getting their spouse to support their endeavors. The 2nd issue is that most of us have children and household expenses that need the support of the income from our jobs/career. And finally, we’re also faced with the difficulty of allocating the time and energy needed to pursue our dream (which could be classified as another “job” to your spouse and children). So how do we overcome these obstacles?
First, find the intent behind your need for accomplishing this goal. And how does your family benefit from your pursuit, and the fulfillment of this dream? Share these reasons with your family… and be completely honest with them about it. Integrity is a MUST! Is this a passion… or just a pipedream? Were you already fulfilling your purpose and decided to put it on hold to start a family, and now you’re looking to return to it? Allow your family to ask you the really tough questions so that they can fully comprehend your need for pursuing this goal. If for any reason your family doesn’t believe in the “why” behind your passion, getting them to support it will be nil to none.
Secondly, ask your family to help you draft a plan of action. Getting your family to participate in the fulfillment of your dreams makes them feel that it’s their dream also. People love to be a part of a winning team. Statistics have proven that people will do more for others than they will do for themselves. And if your spouse/family feels that the game plan they helped to draft, is a believable one that they will benefit from also, they each will do everything necessary to help you accomplish this endeavor.
And thirdly, celebrate along the way! Ensure your family that the sacrifice of time or financial resources will be rewarded greatly. Draft a plan that allows for breaks to relax and spend time with your family. If you’re working a full-time job and use the time you’re at home to work a small business, then schedule 10-15 minute breaks every hour to spend with them ONLY. If possible, turn off all electronics devices during break time. If you use the weekends to work towards the fulfillment of your dream, I suggest working 3 weekends and taking the last weekend off. If you’re using the additional money that was once allocated for family entertainment to help finance your goal, then find other things to do with your family that doesn’t require a lot of money (i.e picnics at the park, roller skating, bowling, a movie matinee/rental, window shopping, family game nights of UNO, Monopoly, Scrabble, etc). Your family needs and loves you… and it is IMPERATIVE that you convey these same emotions by ensuring that you don’t get so caught up in the pursuit that you arrive at the finish line all alone!